the monkey's paw

2008-09-30T08:41:00.000-07:00

Ah yes..... the perils of international travel.
Say I get out and push........will I get extra airline miles for that?

via Blame it on the voices

2008-02-22T10:59:00.000-08:00

2-fer’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!

We have four cats....not on purpose, I really don't like cats very much. The reason we have four cats is a boring story and doesn't matter a whole lot. What does matter is that one of them is abnormaly large, black, poofy and named 2-fer. He's a baby kitty (if baby kitty means a 6 mo. old mammoth sack of cat fat) and yesterday I gave him a good washin'....not on purpose.
This is my story and I'm sticking to it.
We have a stackable washer and dryer system, front loading washer w/dryer on top, it's cool I love it. So yesterday I was washing a blanket and a small bathroom rug no big deal usual domestic goddess stuff. The wash was done so I took the blanket out and put it in the dryer without turning the dryer on, I was thinking I would put it back in the washer for another spin to try and get a little more water out of it after I hung the rug to dry. So that's what I did. I hung up the rug and put the blanket back in the washer, set it for the 15 minute spin/drain cycle and then went back to planning my dream vaca......I mean cleaning the toilet. 15 minutes later the washer buzzer goes off, I open the door, reach in to grab the blanket and 2-fer's soppy little head pokes out from the folds.
I was HORRIFIED (I stood there, feet glued to the floor with my hands over my gaping mouth) as I watched this poor little kitty practically ooze out of the washing machine and on to the floor, expecting at any moment to see some sort of terrible injury or for him to just be dead. Instead I floated above myself, mouth still agape as he staggered like a sailor on shore leave through the kitchen and into the living room where he plopped himself down on the floor in the sun and started to try to clean himself. So I took a couple of pictures....and maybe a short video. He was pitiful looking and the pictures just don't capture how miserable he was.
So here it is.....I am absolutely fucking amazed that that cat survived 15 minutes wrapped in a soggy blanket spinning at about 1300rpms and is for the most part completely unharmed. I was worried that maybe he had some kind of unseen injury and he was going to die during the night but he didn't. He's fine, he plays, he eats, he craps...totally fine. He even still likes me....yeah, like I was real worried about that. Anyway...so I almost killed the cat in a really awful and nightmarish way yesterday. But I didn't.
He's super-fluffy and smells real good now....'mountain fresh'.
zanna

2008-02-20T08:05:00.001-08:00

This used to be me trying to get my daughter to go to school every morning minus the homo jacket. I wonder if it would have helped.
That's Nuttz!

2007-06-01T12:45:00.001-07:00

'Dr. Death' Jack Kevorkian free after 8 years in prison.
Tan, rested and ready to rock-n-roll.
Read more here CourtTV

2007-05-31T08:57:00.001-07:00

Marley loves the spin cycle.
She hears the washer hit that spin cycle and she comes running. Her favorite position is spread eagle across the lid with her head hanging in the sink watching the water go down the drain.
It's the simple pleasures.

2007-05-30T08:44:00.001-07:00

Lovely little birdie. From Joe Pagan.
Why spend tons of money on art supplies. Recycle, reuse, renew.
via Neatorama
via Drawn

2007-05-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

I know I know.......death is NOT funny.

Non sequitur or Non sequitur if you prefer.

2007-04-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

G: "mom.....can cat food hurt people?"
ME: "no....why do you want to try some?"
G: "um....I already did."
ME: "oh yeah, so what did you think?"
G: "it's pretty good.....tastes a lot like dog food."

2007-04-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

Uh......what the hell is that move called?
That's Knutz.

2007-04-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

NO EXIT

2007-03-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

You know I'll be there.

Non Sequitur

2007-03-13T11:41:00.000-07:00

heh.........deerbell.
For your entertainment.

2007-03-12T00:15:00.000-07:00

One drop of urine equals one AA battery for 90 days.
Recycle, reuse, renew.

2007-03-08T08:52:00.000-08:00

Pirates are cool.....I mean bad, very very bad.
Geekologie

2007-03-07T11:04:00.000-08:00

monkeys for helping

2007-03-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

"How can you shoot women and children?"
"Easy....you just don't lead 'em as much. "
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Git Some.

2007-03-02T16:49:00.000-08:00

The Flying McCoys!
My son's science fair is coming up too. He said he wants to do something cool and not too complicated.....something with robots and lasers.

2007-02-20T20:45:00.000-08:00

The Godfather of Soul finally allowed to truly 'get down'.
Thanks to Crunk and Disorderly

2007-02-17T15:10:00.000-08:00

What is that thing!?!
Only the coolest, funkiest, fiercest machine I have ever wanted to ride. It totally deserves a...
WANT THAT!
Look there's more.

2007-02-15T15:33:00.000-08:00

Students build coffin for dying teacher.
Read Me!
Thanks Spluch via Neatorama

2007-02-14T15:51:00.000-08:00

Celtic Colonel Sanders.
Suddenly I'm craving a little KFC
Thanks ModBlog!

2007-02-12T10:31:00.000-08:00

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth.

You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around.

You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and unusual way of speaking

How you live your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

2007-02-09T13:08:00.000-08:00

Good Morning Glory.
More pictures here.
Check out these Knuttz .

2007-02-09T11:27:00.000-08:00

Ahhh.........cappuccino scented Poop soap.
thanks to Strange New Products.

2007-02-05T18:26:00.000-08:00

Talk about being in the right place at the right time. Fireworks, lightning and a comet.
Astronomy Picture of the Day.

2007-02-01T19:52:00.000-08:00

Albino peacock.
May I admire you?
thanks Cellar and Undertoad

2007-01-29T07:37:00.000-08:00

ahhh I love the smell of roses in the morning.
Smells like.......redemption.
Random good stuff.

2007-01-28T16:05:00.000-08:00

nice log

2007-01-26T08:27:00.000-08:00

R2D2 is my co-pilot.

2006-12-12T07:26:00.000-08:00

'I love 'em...and I'm dead!'
uh-huh

2006-11-24T12:42:00.000-08:00

BLING

2006-11-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

2006-11-14T07:04:00.000-08:00

Misfit
Like I said before.....'It's my body, I do what I want!'

2006-11-13T08:06:00.000-08:00

M O O N that spells moon

2006-11-12T18:32:00.000-08:00

For real?

2006-11-09T10:36:00.000-08:00

Doggiebag

2006-11-08T14:34:00.000-08:00

escarwhoa

2006-11-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

MSNBC

2006-05-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

Who's kickin' who now...bitch?!?
Neatorama for neat stuff.

2006-04-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

neatorama

2006-03-30T08:02:00.000-08:00

Genius takes many forms.
It's my body...I'll do what I want!

2006-03-23T08:47:00.000-08:00

Imagine finding this while digging up the back yard.

Dig it up

2006-02-27T10:57:00.000-08:00

I'm just a victim.
c'mon..it's funny

2006-02-23T09:48:00.000-08:00

Gah...I'm all for manly arms but that looks like it hurts!
Check out Neatorama

2006-01-31T13:12:00.000-08:00

September 11, 2001 American Airlines cereal box a bargain at only $100,000.
At least some of the money goes to charity.
everythings for sale
I'll bet it's stale.